i shall write it out to shake it off.
so maybe a couple or three weeks ago, i decided to become a school guidance counselor. i researched courses in mason and came out with a non-GRE required program for school counseling. it seems everything fits but lately my stomach has been churning in terms of if this is the right path and will i or will i not be wasting time and money. this whole process is a risk that needs further examination in terms of how it will affect work and my ability to move out by summer this year. entering 2010, i feel like i have so many goals that on the third day of the year i already feel overwhelmed. school is important as it will definitely lead me in the direction i want to go but there’s a part of me that wants to be more adventurous and not follow the standard NOVA life (which is working and going to school in mason and pretty much just staying in nova for a longer period of time than expected. this is not to say it is a real standard, this is my view.) i want out of this town/city/suburb/whatever. i want to explore…it’s almost as if all i’m interested in is being a tourist with my handy dslr and just live in the moment. i didn’t live in italy but looking back i appreciate the whole experience. i think it made me grow as a person. i guess i’m just fearful of being stagnant. by going through this grad school program, i will have to settle in being in NOVA for longer, being at a job that’s ehhh, and possibly have a routine life that will be hard to get out of once i’m done with the program (assuming i get in and i actually apply soon).
i hate second guessing myself but it’s what i’m most good at. it’s also the thing that hinders me from doing so many things i want to do, yet it’s good to view a situation at all points and think of the consequences and its effects to the people around me.
pros about school:
-sooner arrive at the job that brings me fulfillment
-getting it done and over before 30
-i would have something else to do besides work, sleep, and eat
-education’s always good
-a goal.
cons about school:
-cost
-doubts if this is what i really want (since my interest range from photography to media publishing to school counseling, what i want TRULY still feels up in the air)
-less time for fun i.e. chillen with friends/coworkers, traveling, spontaneous things
-overworking/stress
i feel like i need more time to sort things out.
aghhh. i hope i wake up tomorrow because from what it seems like right now, i probably won’t be able to sleep for awhile -_-.
