Rant

I am sick and tired of being kept at home with a stupid ass curfew of midnight.  You all probably have heard me complain in some form or fashion but it’s the biggest thing that ticks me when I’m home.  Yea I know I have to suck it up but it still affects me in a way that it makes me feel so vulnerable.  I’ve already missed out a lot of things young people do because of these stupid rules and now that I’m 22, I feel that I’m old enough to make decisions despite the fact the intentions of others are unknown.  I just can’t bare it anymore that they don’t trust me.  Some say it’s because they don’t trust those around me, but it just really comes down to me.  If they did trust me, they would believe I can do it.  I mean they let me go out and about when I go to CVILLE or VA BEACH.  What is the freaking difference?  Would it be actually safer when I’m home cuz at least they know I come back?  I don’t know…and when I complain to people, they look at me with shock because 1. midnight is ridiculous and 2. I’m 22 and seem not able to do anything about it.  I’d fight more but I just know it won’t go anywhere.  So here I am in my room just sulking on this potentially good holiday.  I just hate missing out on things, I hate not having fun, I hate being miserable in this stupid house full of grown ups who don’t really get me.  I’m not just complaining about tonight, there have been other nights like this and I’ve kept it all inside or paid the price by missing a following event and it’s just f*ed up.  I could lie and say I’m going someplace else where they think it’s safe but I just really want them to see, realize, and accept that I am old enough and I can handle what’s out there.  God knows that I’ve experienced other things in college that they don’t know about but here I stand, safe, because I’m smart and I surround myself with people I know and trust.  I JUST DON’T GET IT.  I did everything right, right?  It’s ridiculous—you know it, I know it.  What is there left to do?  I think I’ve run out of options unless I permanently move out of this damn house.  Funny though how I thought it would change after high school…it’s remarkably the same.  It’s like being punished for wanting to be young.