August 24, 2009
scatterbrain.

so lately i haven’t really been posting words, more so pictures from other sources.  so here’s an update on life and thoughts.  ready?

so Life…nothing much is really going on.  i’m still working at the same place but i’ve been in training in crystal city for the third week.  ironically i was open to change since work at fairfax was getting quite dull.  it’s nice to taste something different once in a while.  after this training is over, i’m back at fairfax with occasional visits to crystal city.  with all this training and growing within the job, i started to think of where it will lead me.  call center?  i don’t want to head that way.  not to be arrogant but i am definitely better than that.  a couple weeks ago, an email from a dear friend was asking if i was interested in a job in uva.  i quickly jumped at the opportunity!  it was kinda amazing how fast i jumped too…i didn’t think i’d get up and do something so fast.  i usually think things through but for this one, i pretty much jumped the gun thinking it would give me a better chance among the rest.  this job is a uva job to be an admissions counselor.  it seems like a job where you learn as you go, travel around states to recruit hs students to apply to THE university.  i felt like this is the change i needed, a change that can actually challenge me, and a change that would lead me in the right career direction.  i’m too excited.  i wish i wasn’t because i haven’t even gotten an interview yet.  it’s all i think about these days…getting this job (which is definitely good since before this i was just thinking of how boyfriendless i am haha).  please pray for me.  there are so many benefits once i get this uva job that i would never complain (maybe ha).  man.  this would be the best birthday present ever.

speaking of birthdays, mine is coming up soon.  i’m not particularly excited about it.  i think it’s cuz people i’d want to celebrate it with aren’t here.  =.  in any case, i still do want to celebrate it somehow so if you have any ideas, holler.  right now, i’m thinking of dancing at adams morgan.

oh yea, i rearranged my room.  there’s only one bed now.  it’s a good change but it feels weird.  i’m glad to finally have my own room for a change.  i like sharing, mind you, but i’ve never had my own room.  i’ve always shared with the sister and since gone to college, i took it upon myself to change the room as it should be.  i need to decorate it now hehe.

so i thought i’d move out by now, but here i am, with a room of my own, still in springfield.  i had made a deal to stay if the parental units gave me a later curfew and my own room.  so far, they’re upholding their end of the bargain and i am as well.  but honestly, the only way to have made me stay here is major guilt tripS.  yes, more than one.  it sucks to feel all this weight on my shoulders when i know other people out there are just out for themselves, doing what they want without any worry besides taking care of themselves.  it’s not that i don’t want to take care of my family, it’s just it’s so much so soon.  i wanted to have been able to spread my wings, discover myself, find what i like OUT somewhere.  instead, i’m here, home and i feel like i’m not moving forward.  i’m more so standing still, watching everyone pass me.  if i get this uva job, i won’t feel like this anymore.  i’d actually be headed somewhere where i want to go.  again people, pray for me.

other thoughts…hmm.  well i’ve been watching this filipino drama and i got really stunned by how much one will give up just to do the right thing.  he can’t love the girl he loves because 1. she’s with his twin 2. feels like he owes his twin his life because his twin gave him life by giving his kidney to him.  i mean obvi, this isn’t real but just the mere thought of giving up one’s happiness affected me.  at what point is it time to make yourself happy?  and in the end, is it all worth it?

i think i’ve thunk too much cuz i don’t have anything else to say.

til next time…

March 12, 2009

Found on http://www.zenmoments.org/the-cab-ride-ill-never-forget/

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Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living.

It was a cowboy’s life, a life for someone who wanted no boss.

What I didn’t realize was that it was also a ministry.

Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, and made me laugh and weep.

But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night. I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partyers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away.

But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation.

Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. “Just a minute”, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knick-knacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

“It’s nothing”, I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”

“Oh, you’re such a good boy”, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?”

“It’s not the shortest way,” I answered quickly.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.”

I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

“I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.

“Nothing,” I said.

“You have to make a living,” she answered.

“There are other passengers”.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

“You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware - beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.